Dear Friends,
I awoke today after the full moon, the weekend having just passed. I was lit up with a burning pain in my hip and inwardly, as I rolled awake, to scream "let go....let GOOOOO!". In bed I shouted at my Mom, Maternal Grandfather, Grandfather's Father, and all of our shared Ancestors....for release of my pain and of my dysfunctional muscles.
My beloved had left the bedroom already and she was fully dressed when she greeted me as I lay there in bed, pain, and with an Ipod Touch in my hand furiously researching Ayahausca plant medicine in hopes of answers.
I learned what herbs the magical formula needed in a matter of minutes through various sites listed on Google. I was ravenous for answers and solutions. It was suggested to me about three weeks ago to do this sort of Shamanic Medicine Work, as a way of purging my Ancestors' diseases from my body by a dear friend and Hawaii medicine woman.
After my lover stared at me for several minutes, and I slowly sickened of memorizing harmaline alkolodes properties and reactions with human bio-chemistry..."Out OUt OUT..." as I stretched in bed, and felt a strong pull in my psoas muscle on the right. My lover noticed my discomfort and offered some Essential oils...internal and external....and I promptly refused..."I just want to be complete without external things; heal myself with my own bio-chemistry.." thoughts rushed in...
Mr. Iyengar the great master yogi, healed himself of physical ailments, why can't I? My mom said it, a long time ago, "Son, you have to take this medication because you just don't have all that your body needs to be normal."...emotional pain toggled to physical pain again.
I agreed to the capsole of Essential Oils (including Helicrysum Italicum and Basil) and the pain relief blend by Young Living Co. to be applied directly onto my skin, hip and abdomen. I swallowed the pill...I have always done..."in order to be normal"...and drifted back to a memory of the weeks passed.
**********
I am to donate blood today and I just sliced my finger open (Left thumb) in the Kitchen. As my finger spills blood all over the counter, I curse myself for making a Universal Request (just 2 minutes ago) to keep some of my blood for ritual while still knowing that the nurses at the clinic would not let me take some of my own blood home.
So I manifested this and shit it hurts, but I can live with this, heck it's my blood rite...I looked around the kitchen, while holding a paper towel over my finger and holding my finger above my head. I found a wine glass in a cupboard and set it nicely on the counter top near where I was cooking...okay think Aztec-Mayan priest and let go of the pain.
The glass slowly filled up with crimson dripplets as I squeezed my left bleeding thumb with my right hand. It was about one-fourth the way full when my Beloved came into the room and exclaimed, "What are you doing?!?" I explained and she left the room to get something to stop the bleeding.
I remembered the night before our Community Anniversary Ritual (Tuesday night, September 22nd, so equinox 2009--two nights ago) when I was reading a book called "Queztalcoatl: Biography of a Mexican God". I opened it to a chapter randomly which for whatever reason, I deemed interesting and begin reading.
In two paragraphs, I read about the creation myth of deity (of which the name escapes me and I just returned the book to the library so I can't cite it) who rides a "Great Flying Grinning Jaguar"....and I am struck with emotional connection...to Grandfather and my lineage. (Remember the spirit guide that I channel and the same one that Grandfather channels is named Grinning Jaguar, as the entity tends to growl and appear as a North American Mountain lion, who smiles at fear.)
I shook off the chill down my spine and the hairs that stood on end at the back of my neck, and continued reading. The chapter continues to elaborate about the Azteca and the activities of the Priests of Azteca. In less than 2 minutes, I come across the bloodletting descriptions which would sometimes procede a ritual and/or be part of a ritual.
The book stated that a priest would take on the necessary trance state through blood-loss, and for this ritual offering, one would often make cuts on the shins, the tongue, or the ears. The ears for example were bled by pushing an Agave thorn through different aspects of the earlobe...and before I could continue on reading I was struck with a wave of emotion/fear/understanding/tingling that came from the abdomen and rose to the hairs on my head and neck. My eyes began to water and become misty.
Just months ago, when I was on a Tantra retreat to Mexico with the San Diego Tantra Community, I did this very thing...after collecting wild blue agave, and removing the leaves for boiling as medicine. I gathered the thorns and pushed them through my pierced ears. I don't believe that I bled...much; although when my friends questioned why I did what I did, I told them that "it just felt like the right thing to do."
********
The evidence continues to mount, as I map my healing and draw closer to the end of pain for me. I am invested in the mental/emotional/energetic sources and solutions to my ailments but am in no way closed. If you have any helpful healthful suggestions for me, please offer them up and I will be truely grateful. Thanks for listening!
Peace Peace, Namaste...
The Trevahrian Yogi
760-710-1713
Waking Within Co.
Shamanism and Alchemy of the Sacred Spiral
Aside: We'll I am off to begin a food diary and discover and record how I feel after every item I consume. I welcome you to discover and reply to this blog with information from your Ancestors! Which ancestors do you feel you take after? Are there any ancestors that control your actions today? Does your emotional healing/physical involve your blood family? Have plant medicines worked for your healing?
So I manifested this and shit it hurts, but I can live with this, heck it's my blood rite...I looked around the kitchen, while holding a paper towel over my finger and holding my finger above my head. I found a wine glass in a cupboard and set it nicely on the counter top near where I was cooking...okay think Aztec-Mayan priest and let go of the pain.
The glass slowly filled up with crimson dripplets as I squeezed my left bleeding thumb with my right hand. It was about one-fourth the way full when my Beloved came into the room and exclaimed, "What are you doing?!?" I explained and she left the room to get something to stop the bleeding.
I remembered the night before our Community Anniversary Ritual (Tuesday night, September 22nd, so equinox 2009--two nights ago) when I was reading a book called "Queztalcoatl: Biography of a Mexican God". I opened it to a chapter randomly which for whatever reason, I deemed interesting and begin reading.
In two paragraphs, I read about the creation myth of deity (of which the name escapes me and I just returned the book to the library so I can't cite it) who rides a "Great Flying Grinning Jaguar"....and I am struck with emotional connection...to Grandfather and my lineage. (Remember the spirit guide that I channel and the same one that Grandfather channels is named Grinning Jaguar, as the entity tends to growl and appear as a North American Mountain lion, who smiles at fear.)
I shook off the chill down my spine and the hairs that stood on end at the back of my neck, and continued reading. The chapter continues to elaborate about the Azteca and the activities of the Priests of Azteca. In less than 2 minutes, I come across the bloodletting descriptions which would sometimes procede a ritual and/or be part of a ritual.
The book stated that a priest would take on the necessary trance state through blood-loss, and for this ritual offering, one would often make cuts on the shins, the tongue, or the ears. The ears for example were bled by pushing an Agave thorn through different aspects of the earlobe...and before I could continue on reading I was struck with a wave of emotion/fear/understanding/tingling that came from the abdomen and rose to the hairs on my head and neck. My eyes began to water and become misty.
Just months ago, when I was on a Tantra retreat to Mexico with the San Diego Tantra Community, I did this very thing...after collecting wild blue agave, and removing the leaves for boiling as medicine. I gathered the thorns and pushed them through my pierced ears. I don't believe that I bled...much; although when my friends questioned why I did what I did, I told them that "it just felt like the right thing to do."
********
The evidence continues to mount, as I map my healing and draw closer to the end of pain for me. I am invested in the mental/emotional/energetic sources and solutions to my ailments but am in no way closed. If you have any helpful healthful suggestions for me, please offer them up and I will be truely grateful. Thanks for listening!
Peace Peace, Namaste...
The Trevahrian Yogi
760-710-1713
Waking Within Co.
Shamanism and Alchemy of the Sacred Spiral
Aside: We'll I am off to begin a food diary and discover and record how I feel after every item I consume. I welcome you to discover and reply to this blog with information from your Ancestors! Which ancestors do you feel you take after? Are there any ancestors that control your actions today? Does your emotional healing/physical involve your blood family? Have plant medicines worked for your healing?
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